Insights

Aunt Kathleen was my wife’s aunt. If one were given only one word, she was extraordinary. She was one of the most vibrant souls I have ever met. Earlier in my knowing her I didn’t recognize her distinctions as much. Most assuredly because I hadn’t matured enough to see them.

Kathleen contracted polio as a young adult and then developed post-polio syndrome later in life. She recently passed and was ninety-eight years old. When she talked about her experience with polio, she always described how it was harder on the other individual who happened to get it when she did. They had to be quarantined for many months. She described getting and enduring polio matter-of-factly. Not unlucky or sad.

Similarly, in assisted living, in a wheelchair, unable to do most bodily things on her own, she remained unflinching. Aunt Kathleen seemed to manage the challenging points in her life with the poise and resilience of Roger Federer. Polio, post-polio syndrome, next game!?

There were many wonderful encounters over the years, and I particularly remember one in her last year. Several of us met her for lunch at the assisted living center. As usual, she was dressed elegantly and seemed to glow. Unchanged over the past, 10-15 years! Happy and always wanting to hear about others. Fascinatingly remembering everyone’s grandchildren’s names and experiences. My wife has a very big family. I often cannot remember everyone’s names.

As we sat for lunch, she brought up that people had been asking her how it was that she had lived so long. She looked at me, knowing a little about the field I was in and said, “Clayton, I don’t know. I really don’t know why I have lived this long?” It was clear that she was being sincere. From my experience, she didn’t seem to know how to be anything else.

Kathleen went on to say that she always exercised. Nothing unusual, but she played tennis, walked, and kept active. She also said she loved her family and her work. When her husband died at an early age, she became a real estate agent. She became one of the most successful real estate agents in Texas and with her sons developed one of the largest companies in the US. She continued with her work into her nineties.

She talked of how she loved to read and asked what books we were currently reading. One of my favorite lines of the day was her saying, “I don’t like texting. I don’t even like watching people texting.”

Kathleen was a faith filled woman. We often prayed with her. She would speak intently and sadly about how our culture had moved away from God during her near 100 years of living. She wasn’t perplexed about many things, but this one clearly troubled her.

And, while our conversation with laughter and stories was rolling along, Kathleen indicated that we should be going. She didn’t want us to have to stay too long. And then it became clear she had somewhere to be. She had an exercise appointment at 2:30. She didn’t want to be late, and she was not going to miss it. Again, she was ninety-eight!

I am sure many of you were following along and easily calculating why Kathleen lived so robustly and for so long. Over the next few years, we will attempt to review the targets she hit with precision and spend time exploring and discovering simple solutions surrounding the curious gap.

For now, I will finish knowing I stand in Kathleen’s shadow. I will do my best to encourage others to look ahead and follow her lead. What she teaches is that when identifying importance in our lives, like staying healthy, to limit saying and trying. Put relentless attention to doing. Do what matters and nothing else!